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A call comes
through on the customer service line.
Customer Service Rep:
Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?
Customer: Well,
after much consideration, I've decided to install divine love. Can you guide me
through the process?
CS Rep: Yes,
I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well,
I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do
first?
 CS Rep: The
first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes
I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay
to install while they are running?
CS Rep:
What programs are running ma'am?
Customer:
Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,
and RESENTMENT.COM DIVINE LOVE.com running right now.
CS Rep: No
problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current
operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory,
but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually
overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH- ESTEEM.EXE.
However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you
turn those off ma'am?
Customer:
I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep:
My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as
many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been
completely erased.
Customer:
Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that
normal?
CS Rep:
Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life
of your HEART. Do you see that divine message?
Customer:
Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep:
Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin
connecting to other Heart's in order to get the upgrades.
Customer:
Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep:
What does the message say?
Customer:
It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS."
What does that mean?
CS Rep:
Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program
is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your
HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in
non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine
before it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So
what should I do?
CS Rep: Can
you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes,
I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent.
You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank
you.
CS Rep: You're
welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART"
directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any
programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from
all directories, and to make sure
it is completely gone and never comes back, you will need to empty your
recycle bin.
Customer:
 Got
it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. How divine it
is now. SMILE.MPG is
playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and
CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this
normal?
C Rep: Sometimes.
For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at
the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be
able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE
is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody
you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will
return some similarly cool modules back to you.
Customer: I
will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?
CS Rep: You
can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician. Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer
suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.
Give a little love away ... keep in touch.
Read Divine Intervention, a collection of personal encounters of ordinary people with the almighty God.
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