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<p align="center"><font size="4" color="#800080"><b><i>Letter to complaint
dept.<br />
<br />
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0<img border="0" src="manwomankiss.gif" align="right" width="92" height="150" />
and noticed that the new program began making unexpected
changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access
to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated
flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product
brochure. <br />
<br />
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable
programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3,
and OperaNight 6.1<br />
<br />
and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3,
SaturdayFootball 5.0, <img border="0" src="fbalanim.gif" width="64" height="42" /> Golf 2.4 and
ClutterEverywhere 4.5.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system.
<img border="0" src="dishesman.gif" align="left" width="150" height="171" />
<br />
Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1 or
HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3
to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of
limited effectiveness. Can you help please!!!!<br />
<br />
Jane<br />
</i></b></font><font size="4" color="#000080"><br /></font></p align="center"><p align="left">
<font size="4" color="#000080"> Dear Jane:<br />
<br />
This is a very common problem women complain about, but
is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0
is merely an </font><font size="4" color="#FF0000"> ENTERTAINMENT</font><font size="4" color="#000080"> package.<img border="0" src="cansun.gif" align="right" width="200" height="148" />
However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0 ,
because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed.
<br />
Any new program files can only be installed once per year,
as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common,
and a normal part of Husband 1.0 In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications,
or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0.
However, these women end up with more problems
than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in your manual under</font><font size="4" color="#FF0000">
"Warnings: Divorce/Child Support".</font><font size="4" color="#000080"><br />
<br />
You will notice that this program runs very poorly,
and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3 <br />
I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the
quirks of this strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding
</font><font size="4" color="#FF0000">General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). </font><font size="4" color="#000080">
This a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by
the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the
command
</font><font size="4" color="#FF0000">"C:\ I
THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME"</font><font size="4" color="#000080"><img border="0" src="choc.gif" align="right" width="126" height="100" />
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command.
Husband 1.0 should then run
the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.<br />
<br />
</font><font size="4" color="#FF0000"> TECH TIP!</font><font size="4" color="#000080"><br />
<br />
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create
additional and more serious </font><font size="4" color="#FF0000">GPFs</font><font size="4" color="#000080">,
and ultimately YOU may have to give a </font><font size="4" color="#FF0000">C:\ APOLOGIZE</font><font size="4" color="#000080">
command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to
GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet,<img border="0" src="Drunkguy.gif" align="left" width="124" height="85" />
Beer 6.0 Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0
to create FatBelly
files and Snoring Loudly wave files that are very hard to delete.<br />
<br />
Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip
Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take
the blame for all </font><font size="4" color="#FF0000">GPFs,</font><font size="4" color="#000080">
but because of this fine feature it can
only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran . <br />
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and
cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional
software to improve performance. <br />
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in
conjunction, these utilities
can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will
find many valuable embedded features such as FixesBrokenThings 2.1,
Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.<br />
<br />
A final word of caution! <br />
</font><font size="4" color="#FF0000">Do
NOT</font><font size="4" color="#000080">, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application,
and will cause selective shut down of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 will<img border="0" src="Oldlady.gif" align="right" width="40" height="110" /> run only <img border="0" src="fishing1.gif" width="66" height="53" />
9.4 and <img border="0" src="hunting1.gif" width="64" height="55" /> 5.2
until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled. I hope these notes have helped.
Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support
wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to</font> <font size="4" color="#000080">fully
enjoy this product!"</font><br />
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